


Yours - Joshler

by Going_Nowhere



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Fanfiction, M/M, Romance, josh dun - Freeform, joshler - Freeform, twenty one pilots - Freeform, tyler joseph - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-20 04:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9475373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Going_Nowhere/pseuds/Going_Nowhere
Summary: Love, it's a scary thing. It's trusting someone with everything you have and they could decide to crush it at any moment. But a love like Josh and Tyler's is unbreakable, no matter what life throws at them.





	1. Chapter 1

Before I met him, I never let anybody in. I pushed everyone who ever got close to me away because I have a fear of getting hurt. Because that’s what I was used too. I was used to people throwing me away like I’m nothing, destroying my trust, stabbing me in the back. Ever since I started in middle school ten years ago, it’s been that way year after year. I’d think I made a really good friend, but then as soon as they know my deepest secrets they turn around and stab me.

But since August of last year, things have just been different. I feel more at peace, my head feels less scrambled, and it’s all because of him. This beautiful guy lying next to me with yellow hair and an amazing sleeve tattoo. His eyes are shut softly, and quiet breaths escape from between his slightly parted lips. His left hand rested on my stomach, and I couldn’t help but lace my fingers with his, a feeling of serenity taking over every part of me.

It’s a weird feeling, love. I had never really experienced it before meeting Josh. It was always me, myself, and I. I could barely even love myself, yet this wonderful guy took me for who I was. He picked up every little piece of me and glued me back together and just poured all this love into me without a second thought. He never stopped to think that maybe this isn’t what he wants, there’s never even a time throughout the days where he shows any sign of being sick of me. I just don’t know how someone got so lucky to find a guy like him.

When I first figured out I was gay, I was fourteen. My parents were completely supportive, as were my brothers and sister. Everyone was so kind, and so loving, and I appreciated that so much. But kids at school found out through one of my old friends and I started getting bullied. Kids in the Columbus suburbs weren’t exactly all that supportive, and I just had to live with it. Of course, this whole depression thing didn’t start when I was fourteen, I was first diagnosed with anxiety at the age of twelve, and it slowly progressed to something more and by the time I was thirteen, apparently the depression was evident.

However, despite the fact that I was always pretty anxious and very depressed, I had never thought about suicide before I was fourteen. I had always been pretty upbeat, despite my mental health. I always managed to go out and have fun with my family. I focused in school, I was an honors student before I was fourteen. But then pretty much everything changed in ninth grade. The bullying was every where, there was literally no escape. 

My sister, Madison, always stood up for me at school, but eventually that lead to her getting bullied for standing up for her gay brother. And I begged her to stop, because I hated seeing her sad like she was, but she never did. But seeing her upset because of who I am, it kind of killed me inside. So I started going to school less, started doing worse on my assignments. I lost grades so quickly, and just lost all my motivation. My parents didn’t understand why I changed so drastically in three months, they didn’t know about the bullying at school till they asked Madison why I was acting so strangely. She told them everything.

After Madison had told my parents about what was going on, they brought me into the school to talk to the principal. Madison sat in as well, just because she was a witness and she knew about what happened every day. It ended with the principal talking to each of the guys individually, but that only made things worse. When I started going back to school on a somewhat regular basis, it was worse. I was beat up at least four times in the span of three months, I was called names daily, threatened, the whole nine yards.

That’s when I started wanting to die.

I had googled ways that you could end your own life, things such as overdosing, hanging, etc. But I knew those weren’t exactly what I wanted. And so I turned to self mutilation, hurting myself wherever I could. Eventually it became an addiction, something I would do anytime things would get hard. I would never talk to anybody about any of my problems, I’d just bottle them inside and push them away because I figured nobody would have cared.

The first time my brother, Jay, had saw the scars, he embraced me in the biggest hug I had ever gotten from him. Everyone in my family knew I struggled with severe depression, but nobody knew it was to this extent. And so I just poured my heart out to him, telling him about the bullying and how everyone just stabbed me in the back. I told him about how I wanted to die, to be done with life and never have to do anything that remotely resembles living.

By the time I was nineteen, things were just awful. I had moved out of my parents house into a crappy little apartment that I had enough money to pay rent for. I didn’t have any friends, barely anybody bothered to contact me, I was always alone. And that’s when I met Josh and my whole life changed.

I remember working at the crappy little record shop downtown when this guy with beautiful eyes and a strange lip piercing came waltzing in. He looked around for a little bit and I just couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He had been perfect to me, truly beautiful. And it was the moment he turned around and looked at me that I started believing in love at first sight. This guy gave me the most beautiful smile, his eyes sparkling, and I swear I would have fallen over if I hadn’t been leaning on the counter.

“Ty,” I look over at him, hearing a soft grumble coming from his lips. I roll onto my side so our faces are level. He slowly opens his eyes and yawns softly before reaching out and putting his hand on my face. I put my hand on top of his and smile. “Did you get some sleep?”

I nod my head, yawning very slightly. “A couple hours yeah.”

He frowns and wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer so our noses are touching gently. I could feel his soft heartbeat against my chest, slow and steady. His eyes stare into mine deeply, a small smile on his lips, but I could tell he’s upset that I still can’t sleep all that great. “I wish there was something more I could do to help you sleep.”

I shrug my shoulder, watching him as he rolls onto his back. I smile and rest my head on his chest, closing my eyes, listening to the soft ‘thump, thump, thump’ of his heart. It always made me happy, knowing that his beautiful human is living and breathing. He doesn’t see my flaws the way I see them, if anything, he doesn’t see them at all. But everything he’s done for me is unbelievable. I’m nearly four years clean, all because of this yellow-haired-loser laying with me right now. I’m happy because of him.

“Do you still want to go out for dinner tonight?” He asks me, running his fingers through my hair. I nod my head and yawn, keeping my eyes closed. I’d probably fall asleep again if I stayed like this for too long, but I’m sure Josh wouldn’t complain. I’m sure he’d just hold me tighter and tell me he loves me over and over again. “Six month anniversary.”

I smile, cuddling closer to him. “It’s hard to believe it’s already been that long. It feels like just yesterday you took me on that trip to Disneyland and asked me to be yours.”

He chuckles and runs his fingers down my spine. “Admit it, that was the cutest thing that had ever happened to you.”

“Not going to deny that,” I say, placing a soft kiss on his chest. He smiles and wiggles out from under me, telling me he’s going to go put some coffee on and start some breakfast. I look up at him and pout, reaching my arms out for him. He grins happily and leans down from where he’s standing and places a gentle kiss on my lips. “I’m going to shower then.”

I stand up and stretch, wrapping my arms around Josh from behind. He reaches behind both of us and grabs my butt, giving it a gentle squeeze. I push him away softly before shuffling past him, sticking my tongue out at him. He grins and leaves the room, into the hall while I head into our ensuite bathroom. I shut the door and lean against it, closing my eyes for a moment. He still makes me heart pound in my chest, just like he had the day we met.

Sighing happily, I flick on the bathroom light and walk over to the mirror, standing in front of it, staring at my reflection. 

I’m about average height, 5’9” with dark brown hair that’s kind of sticking up in every direction at the moment. My arms are full of tattoos, all with significant meanings to me. I also have a small tattoo on my thigh that says “Josh” in his writing, while he has one that says “Tyler” in my writing. We didn’t get them in the time that we’ve been dating. We got them when we were still best friends, and we know that no matter what we’ll keep them. We’ll always remember our time being each other's world.

I walk over to the shower and turn the water on, holding my hand under it till I get a decent temperature. Once I’m comfortable with it, I strip out of my boxers and move the shower curtain to the side. I step into the shower and close my eyes, letting the water run down the front of my body. I felt calm, relaxed. Even when I was younger, the shower always managed to calm me down on my worst days. I don’t know what it is about the shower, maybe it’s the warmth, or maybe it’s because it’s a silent place where I can just think.

Coughing slightly, I grab the shampoo and put some in my hand before lathering it in my hair. I couldn’t help but whistle a simple melodic tune that I randomly came up with. I rinse my hair out before washing my body with the strawberry scented body wash Josh bought from Bath and Body Works the other day. I swear, he goes there just wanted to sniff things and comes out with fifty candles, and all kinds of lotion and body wash. It’s kind of crazy, but I don’t really blame him, I’m the same way when it comes to Lush.

After a moment, I turn the shower off and step out of the shower. I grab my towel and dry my face off before awkwardly trying to dry my back. I then wrap the towel around my waist, humming quietly as I open the door and exit the bathroom. I grab a pair of boxers and sweat pants, pulling them on before using the towel to dry my hair slightly. I head out of the room and downstairs, still humming.

I see Josh in the kitchen and a huge smile grows on my face as I stop humming and slowly tip-toe over to him. He’s humming while pushing bacon around on a frying pan. I wrap my arms around his waist, causing him to jump but chuckles when I start placing kisses up his upper back and his shoulders.

“Good shower?” He asks, setting the fork he’s using down on the counter. I nod and place a soft kiss on his neck before walking over to the island and pushing myself onto it. I close my eyes for a moment, breathing in the sweet smell of bacon. “You smell like a million strawberries and I freaking love it.”

“I used the body wash,” I say happily, resting my hands in my lap as Josh makes me a cup of coffee. He’s honestly such a caring boyfriend, I don’t think I could have ever gotten more lucky with a guy than I have with this loser. “I love you, Joshua Dun.”

He looks at me and smiles, handing me my coffee. I take it and hold it in both of my hands, breathing in the smell of it before looking at Josh. “And I love you Tyler Joseph.”


	2. Chapter 2

“This is beautiful, Josh,” I say softly, looking around the nice resturant. He’d literally been saving up for weeks to be able to afford a nice anniversary dinner, and honestly, I wasn’t expecting this. But this is incredible, so far beyond what I thought he would be doing. This place is one of the most amazing restaurants in all of Columbus, the most expensive, honestly. I wouldn’t have expected something like this for only six months, but I guess we’ve had such a good run in the time that we’ve known each other that there’s no shame in splurging on one another.

Josh smiles at me and runs his hand through his hair. “I wanted to make you remember how much I love you. Even though I know there’s no doubt in your mind throughout the other times but I just wanted to give you something nice for putting up with me for half a year.”

“Oh shush,” I say, grinning. I reach across the table and take his hand, staring into his eyes. “I don’t know how I ever managed to get someone as amazing like you. I mean, honestly. Someone like me, who’s been through hell and doesn’t feel a heck of a lot of happiness. You took me in and made me better, or at least feel better. You made me feel happy, wanted, loved. Things that I had never felt before in my life. You saved my ass.”

He blushes and looks down at our hands. “I know you’ve never really realized why I’ve done all this because you’ve never felt like you have deserved this. But I really need you to understand that you do. I didn’t choose this because I felt like you were someone I could fix, because trust me, I didn’t think I could. I just saw this beautiful guy with an angelic voice and I couldn’t help myself. I swear, I felt like I loved you the moment I met you but because I was with Debby for so long, I just couldn’t do anything about it.”

Josh has told me this stuff millions of times. 

When we first met, he had a girlfriend. They were happy together so I guess I just kind of dealt with it, even though I had feelings for him. However, Debby didn’t really like me. She always told Josh that I’m ruining his life. Eventually, he just got sick of it and dumped her. He took a couple months to get himself back together, to fix our relationship. It really wasn’t broken, but I did feel like he deserved someone a lot better than me in his life. Eventually, things started to be okay again. And then he asked me out and things have just been amazing ever since.

He likes to tell me that I’m the best thing that's ever happened to him, and he’s never been happier and honestly, that fills me up with so much joy. Because getting to look across the table at this yellow-haired idiot right now just made my heart melt. Even now, after knowing him for so long, my heart still pounds when I look into those brown eyes, or feel his hand on mine. I just don’t know how I ever got so lucky. I say that so much, but I just really don’t get it.

“You wanna know something, Josh?” I say softly, intertwining our fingers, ignoring disgusted looks of an old couple as they walk by. He raises an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side slightly, a smile on his soft lips. “I would have been more than happy to just stay at home tonight. To cuddle and watch Netflix. To have the little popcorn war we had on our three month anniversary. I would have been so happy with something simple. But this, you have literally spoiled me tonight. This place is so expensive.”

He shrugs, holding up his glass of wine as if giving me a cheers. I lean back in my chair, keeping our hands locked together. “You deserve it, Joseph.” He takes a sip from the glass and looks over towards the kitchen before meeting my eyes. “I’ve always wondered about what it would be like to leave this town.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. You know, like, we both have lived here our entire lives and you have so many awful memories here. And my boss was talking about giving someone a transfer to California, LA I believe. I’m thinking about seeing if I can get it,” He looks down before looking at me through his eyelashes. “Would you be okay with living in LA?”

I nod my head, smiling happily. “Anywhere would be fine as long as I’m with you, Josh Dun.”

He smiles widely and brings my hand up to his lips, kissing the back of it. “Well, I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow, see if we can get ourselves moved out there before the summer. How about that? Wouldn’t it be amazing to spend our first July as a couple on the beach? We could go to Carnivals and stuff. It would be lame as hell, but cute as hell.”

I giggle and nod, looking as the waiter walks over to our table, food in hand. I let go of Josh’s hand and lean back in my chair. The waiter places our meals down and asks if we need anything else. We both shake our heads and he nods, walking off. I look down at my plate of spaghetti. Literally the most basic thing I could have gotten, but it’s the cheapest thing and I didn’t want to make Josh spend fifty plus dollars for me to get a steak or something. He went all out though with a steak, and it looked amazing.

Josh looks up at me before reaching across the table with a fry. He pops it in my mouth and I smile, picking up my fork and getting a bunch of spaghetti. “Have you told your family that you’re thinking about moving out to California?”

He shakes his head, putting a hand over his mouth to block out the viewing of any food, which I really appreciate. “Not yet. They were so against Ashley moving out to San Francisco, so I’m pretty sure they’ll be flipping out about us going there. So we’ll have to fight them for it, as well as your parents who I’m sure will also be totally against it.”

“That’s true,” I shove a forkful of spaghetti in my mouth, swallowing it before continuing. “But I mean, we’re both twenty two, there’s not a whole lot they can do about it. We’re adults, they can’t force us to stay here. Although, what are we going to do for a home?”

“I believe the provide a studio apartment for the first couple months till we can muster up enough money to either rent something or buy a house,” Josh shrugs and leans back in his chair, holding his fork between his thumb and index finger. He kind of looks like he’s going to throw it at the wall behind me, which made me a bit nervous. “Don’t worry, Tyjo. I promise everything we need will be provided till we can manage on our own.”

“What about me and work?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Well,” Josh sits up a little straighter. “There are a million things you could do in LA. You have such an amazing talent with your voice, you could see if you could start up a couple gigs. You know, small cafes, bars. You would be amazing and I would be at every single thing you do. It’s my dream to see you up on a stage singing your songs.”

“Do you really think I could make it?”

“Babe, I know you can make it.”

-  
Two days later

“Okay so how are we going to tell your parents?” Josh asks me as we round the corner to my childhood home. I shrug my shoulders. I hadn’t really put much thought into how we’re going to tell my parents that Josh got the job in California and we’d be moving next week. I know they’re going to fight me on it, but this is going to be such a good thing for the two of us. I can try and live my dream, and Josh can do his.

We pull up in front of the house and I sigh, leaning my head back on the head rest. Josh reaches over and puts his hand on the far side of my face. He turns my head to look at him and kisses me softly. I smile into the kiss before kissing him back. My heart is pounding. Everything about him just makes me feel so warm and bubbly. “Let’s go.”

Josh nods and takes his seat belt off. I pull mine off and open the door, stepping out onto the grass. I shut the door behind me and reach out my hand for Josh. He grips it tightly and pulls me close to him as we walk across the front lawn and up the front porch. I knock on the front door and look at my boyfriend, raising my eyebrow. He just sticks his tongue out and wraps an arm around my shoulders.

The door swings open and Madison immediately embraces us both in a hug, barely giving us any time to process what’s happening. She then invites us in. I kick my shoes off, finally letting go of Josh’s hand. I walk into the living room and give my mom a huge hug. I haven’t seen my family in a while, so they just think this is catching up, and apparently Madison has some huge news that she wants Josh and I here for.

I give my dad and brothers hugs before plopping down on the couch. Josh finishes greeting my family before sitting down next to me, putting his hand gently on my thigh.

“So,” My mom says, sitting down next to my dad on the loveseat. Madison sits next to Josh and wraps her arms around his torso, causing him to chuckle. “How have things been for you two love bugs?”

“Amazing. Josh took me out for this really nice dinner on Thursday because of our anniversary. It was so amazing, such a beautiful restaurant,” He kisses my cheek and I smile, blushing slightly. Zack chuckles and leans against the chair that Jay is sitting on. “Anyway, we heard Madi has some news?”

“Yeah!” She says excitedly, standing up. “I got a huge job offer in Cleveland! I accepted it and I’m moving there next month!”

“That’s incredible, sweetheart!” My dad says, clapping his hands together. I look at Josh, thinking maybe they wouldn’t react so badly. But I mean, at least Cleveland is still in the state, Los Angeles isn’t anywhere near Ohio, and I know that will be an issue. My parents will be too nervous to let their precious son and his boyfriend move all the way across the country.

“Um, guys?” I say gently. Everyone looks at me and I smile. “Josh got a job offer too, and he accepted.”

“Where?” Jay asks, leaning forward in the chair, resting his chin on Zacks head, causing Zack to reach up and smack him, causing him to move back and pout. I look over at Josh and he tilts his head to the side, causing his neck to crack.

“Um, Los Angeles,” He says gently, looking directly at my parents. The room is silent for a good while, as if everyone is trying to process the fact that we’re going to be moving so far away. “But my sister lives in San Fran, so we’ll always have someone close-ish to us, and we’ll always be safe, and we’ll come and visit for every holiday we can-”

“Josh, Josh, calm down,” My mom laughs, raising her hand. Josh and I look at each other before looking to my mom, feeling a little confused. His parents had a completely different reaction this morning, but we did manage to bring them around, claiming that we’ll stay safe and everything. Which is one hundred percent true, going around in LA and being unsafe isn’t really a great idea. “It’s fine. I’m super happy for you guys. As long as you guys are safe.”


	3. Chapter 3

So far, Los Angeles has been amazing. We arrived this morning and have been enjoying everything, except for the driving of course. Our temporary rental is kind of a piece of trash, but it’s okay. We made it completely safe and we’re now in the city we’ll live in for who knows how long. We can see Josh’s sister more often, we can go to the beach, we can go to Disneyland again, which would be amazing, especially as a one year anniversary thing, but of course that’s still a couple months away.

Josh and I are currently walking around Hollywood Blvd. We managed to find our apartment and bring our things there, and now we’re just gaping at all the stars, and all the things you only see on TV. I’ve actually seen four celebrities, and even though they weren’t ones that I really liked, I still felt like I was going to fall over. And I think Josh is truly enjoying watching me fangirl over absolutely everything.

“I know we’ve been to California before, but we’ve never been here, and I literally feel like I’m walking through heaven,” I say before rushing over to Ellen’s star. I point at it and grin happily. Josh takes his phone out of his pocket and quickly snaps a picture before showing it to me, telling me how adorable I look. I look at it and girn, wrapping my arms around him, which actually ended up being more me throwing myself at him.

Josh untangles me from him and takes my hands, giving me a gentle kiss. I hear a choir of awes coming from somewhere near us, and when I turn my head, I see a group of teenage girls staring directly at us and I end up blushing deeply, holding Josh’s hand and practically dragging him away from there.

“Awe, you don’t like PDA, Ty?” He asks me, a small chuckle evident in his voice. I roll my eyes, turning around to look at him while walking backwards. He grins happily at me and grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers. I walk beside him, continuing to look around.

“Hey, isn’t that the guy who posts covers on YouTube?” I look over at a teenage boy with, who I’m assuming is, his girlfriend. I sigh and look at Josh who didn’t seem to notice. I had posted maybe two or three covers on YouTube in the past couple months. I didn’t think they’re very good, but they’ve gotten tons of views. I’ve ignored the comments, good and bad so I don’t really know what people think of the videos.

Josh grips my hand a little tighter as we stop at a bus stop, probably planning to head back home. I lean my head on his shoulder, ignoring the people who are looking at us. Josh is perfectly fine with people looking at us, admiring the gay couple. But I’m a little more insecure about it. I never really know what people are thinking, and it bothers me because I don’t want people to think we’re super disgusting for being in love, but I know there are people out there like that, and it bothers me.

The bus pulls up to the curb and Josh wiggles my arm. I look at him before following him onto the bus. We pay the fee to head to downtown LA before walking to the back of the bus. We sit in the very back row, our hands still holding onto each other tightly. It felt nice to have him being so protective of me. I know eventually I’ll have to go out on my own while Josh is at work, but it’s okay. I’ll get used to this city sooner or later. For now, it’s just nice to have Josh with me. It’s helping me adjust.

“You okay Ty?” Josh says lightly, looking at me. I turn my head from looking out the window and now, scratching my thigh with my free hand.

“I’m just a little anxious is all,” I mumble, leaning my head on his shoulder. Josh frowns and lets go of my hand, wrapping his arm around my shoulder so I’m closer to him. “It’s just.. Being in an unfamiliar city and having people looking onto us like we’re aliens or something just because we love each other, it’s just making me feel a little queasy.”

“You’re fine, okay Tyler?” He tells me softly, using his fingers to trace small shapes on my arm. “It’ll take a little bit of getting used too but people here are so much more accepting of LGBTQ individuals, maybe because it’s a lot more common in LA. But I promise you’ll be okay. You’ll get used to it and eventually you’ll learn how to ignore everyone stares and everything. But I promise you, I’ll be here till you get used to it.”

I smile slightly and look up at Josh. He looks down at me and smiles happily, putting his free hand under my chin and lifts my head before kissing me softly. I smile into the kiss, placing one of my hands on his thigh. I kiss him back, feeling his fingers dig into my arm slightly. Is he really getting turned on right now? We’re about fifteen minutes from home and he’s getting turned on.

I pull away and look into his eyes. “Are you?”

“A little bit,” He says, blushing. I chuckle and kiss him gently before leaning my head back on his shoulder, moving my hand from his thigh. I place it in my lap with my other one and watch the people in front of us. A lady with a stroller sat at the very front of the bus and I could hear her talking to the child. I’m not exactly sure what she’s saying, but it sounds like baby talk and that makes my brain hurt.

On the other side of the bus sat two old ladies who are chatting away about a movie they went and saw and how good it was. Then throughout the rows there sat teenagers by themselves, staring at their phones, strangers sitting side by side awkwardly, not saying a word to one another. A couple who are kissing, causing the guy behind them to ask them to stop showing so much PDA. 

Closer to the back sat an african-american women with her child who couldn’t be more than five years old. The little boy is staring at Josh and I, probably wondering about why two guys are cuddling so closely instead of a guy and a girl. And I hear him ask his mom about it, and she responds saying it’s like her and the child's other mom, except with two men. I grin and look down at my lap. I hope me and Josh can have children some day.

We’ve never really talked about having children, more or less because it’s still too soon in our relationship. But I know we both want to have kids after we get married, and I think we decided in the beginning that we want two girls, but we’re unsure of how we want to go about having the children. I more want to do a surrogate, but I think Josh would prefer to adopt. But when it comes time, of course, we’ll have a conversation about it and really talk about it. I know we want to get married before we commit to anything.

I’ve actually been planning on asking Josh to marry me on our one year anniversary. I’ve been saving tons of money to be able to buy him a super nice engagement ring. I know he’ll say yes, I mean, with the amount that we love each other, there's absolutely no doubt that we’ll get married and live happily ever after. It’s like all those Disney movies, aside from the fact that we didn’t meet and then get married the next day.

-

“I love that they basically gave us everything,” I say, pulling clothes out of my suitcase, putting them in the dresser. Josh smiles at me from where he sat on the couch, his computer on his lap. He’s ordering pizza since we don’t actually have any food in this place yet. I stretch before walking over to Josh, plopping down next to him.

“Have you texted your mom since we’ve been here?” Josh asks me and I nod, pulling my phone out of my pocket. No notifications, not that I’m really surprised. I don’t have any friends, and the only people that would bother texting me are in my family, or is currently sitting right next to me. However, I’m hoping that I can make more friends here in California. Nobody here knows anything about my past so they have no reason to judge me. So I can only hope.

Josh stretches, groaning as he does it, causing me to look over at him. He looks at me and smiles, leaning forward and presses a soft kiss to my lips. I smile and move closer to him, kissing him a little harder than before. Josh grunts softly, putting his hands on the sides of my face. 

I pull away and look Josh in the eyes. “After we eat?”

He grins and nods his head, placing one last kiss on my lips before standing up. He walks into the kitchen area and opens one of the cupboards, pulling out a cup. I watch him intently, feeling intrigued by his every move. I don’t know why Josh’s movements make me so interested, it’s always been that way. I love watching him cook, or even just watching TV because he makes all these little faces that make me smile. I guess that’s just love.

“So what are you going to do for work?” Josh asks me, filling his glass up with water from the tap. I shrug my shoulders, looking down at my hands, rubbing them together. I haven’t really thought about work all too much. I guess I’ve just been figuring I could get away being unemployed, but I think Josh knows that if I’m home all day the demons would come back and I know he can’t risk that. “How about tomorrow we go for a walk around here and see if anythings hiring?”

I nod my head, running my fingers through my hair. Josh smiles and me, setting his glass down on the counter before walking over to me. He puts his hands on the back of the couch on either side of my head and looks me dead in the eyes. He licks his lips and smiles happily before pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. He stands up straight and stretches, humming slightly.

“Hey Josh?” I say softly. He looks at me. “What about that thing you were talking about back in Columbus. With me using my talents. Do you actually think I could get somewhere with performing? Like, am I actually that good?”

“Ty don’t doubt yourself. You have a beautiful singing voice and you’re so talented when it comes to instruments. If you want to do that for a job, then go ahead. I believe that you’ll be able to get somewhere. Your voice is literal heaven,” I blush slightly and look down at my hands, smiling slightly. “Why don’t you start posting videos on YouTube again? People on there love you!”

“Wait really?” I ask, raising my eyebrows. Josh nods and smiles. “I’ve never looked at them after I posted them so I guess I had no idea.”

Josh pulls his phone out of his pocket, opening something before handing it to me. I look at the screen and my eyes widen. I have over a thousand subscribers, and my videos have more likes than dislikes. I look through the comments, mainly really positive saying that they’ve never heard a cover better than mine, and I swear it made me feel a million times happier. I had been so nervous about what people would say that I just blocked out any idea of looking through the comments and such. But I should have because everyone has been so kind.

I hand Josh his phone back before standing up. I pick up my ukulele case and set it on the bed. I carefully open it and pull out the instrument, holding it carefully in my arms, looking at Josh who’s grinning happily. I smile back at him, walking back over the couch. I sit down and cross my legs so my feet are tucked under my butt.

I carefully strum at the cords, tuning it properly, listening to the sounds it makes. I’ve gotten pretty good at tuning by ear, which Josh thinks is really strange because he can’t tell what note is proper and what note isn’t. But then again, he doesn’t play his drums anymore, and when he used too, he didn’t play them often enough to actually figure this kind of stuff out. And I’ve tried teaching him, but he doesn’t seem to listen, which is fine. I think he’s just happy to be able to listen to me.

I strum softly after I’m done tuning and smile, looking up at Josh who is staring at me intently. I begin playing a song, moving my fingers as needed. “Wise men say, only fools rush in. But I can’t help falling in love with you,” I look up at Josh and he smiles happily. “Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? Cause I can’t help falling in love with you.”

As I continue with the song, I close my eyes to feel the rhythm even better. I could hear Josh moving around a little bit, but I just ignore it, focusing on the song. I start bopping my head along, ignoring that I screwed up one of the notes for my ukulele. I guess I’m a little rusty. I haven’t really played in a while, so not everything is perfect.

Once I finish, Josh claps and smiles happily, walking over to me. He kisses my cheek before looking down at his phone. I furrow my eyebrows together and grab his arm, pulling it down so I can see. “You recorded me?!”

Josh laughs awkwardly and nods. “You’re really good when you get into it. Literally, you looked so damn beautiful. I want to share with the world.”

I groan and shake my head. “No, that was really bad, please don’t post it to YouTube.”

“Too late,” Josh says with a smirk, starting to walk away from me. I set my uke down on the couch and stand up, chasing after Josh as he begins running around the small apartment, giggling like a crazy person. But I end up catching him and I basically tackle him, straddling his waist while grabbing his phone. I look at the screen and my whole body felt like it was just going to fall apart. He posted it. 

“Why would you do this?” I ask, putting his phone down on his chest. I stand up and walk over to the bed. I wrap my arms around my legs and place my head between my knees. I hear Josh sigh, obviously noticing that it made me kind of upset. “That was a really bad cover, Josh. I didn’t want anyone to hear it.. Only you.”

“Babe,” Josh says softly, sitting down next to me. This isn’t good, there will be so many people judging me for this. “It was really fucking good,” He sighs softly. He only swears when he’s trying to make a point, but I still couldn’t believe him. I knew it was bad and I really don’t want anyone to see it. “Like, it gave me chills, you sang everything perfectly.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Yes you did, Tyler. It’s already got fifty thumbs up. People love it.”

I look up at him and sigh, shrugging my shoulders. 

“I’ll prove it to you, Ty. I’ll prove to you that I’m not the only one who absolutely loves to hear you sing. There are so many more people who love your voice, and I hope one day you can start to believe all of us,” He stands up and walks to the door after a knock is heard. I put my hands on my face and sigh. “Yes, here you go. Thank you.”

I feel the bed dip again a couple seconds later. I look up and see Josh with a pizza. He sets it down on the bed and smiles at me. “Just trust me, Ty. I promise people are going to love it.”


	4. Chapter 4

After about two weeks, it began to get obvious that people are noticing the super awkward boy from Ohio. People have been noticing me on the street, coming up to me to tell me how much they love my voice as well as that they hope a big industry will notice me because I would be amazing as an actual stage performer. Every time that happens, Josh gets this look of “I told you so” and I just hit him, ignoring his smug look. But deep down, I’m really happy he convinced me to not kill him, and actually leave the video up. Everyone has been really kind to me.

Right now, I’m laying in bed watching TV. Josh is at work and I do feel kind of lonely, but my sister is texting me, so that makes it a little bit better. She’s telling me about how awesome Cleveland is and how many people are talking about me. She continuously tells me that I need to post another video, but I’m not really sure if I should. I mean, yeah, I’ve gained another 1,000 subs, but I don’t really want to get too into this thing because I feel like it’ll all just completely flop and I’ll be right back where I am now. So I might as well just stay here and accept it.

But at the same time, it is my dream to be known like that. I haven’t really acknowledged it in a while because I figured I wasn’t going anywhere, but now that people are actually mentioning it, and claiming that I’m really good, I’m thinking about trying again. Of course I’m scared, but I know I’ll have Josh no matter what happens.

I turn the TV off and roll onto my back, staring at the roof, thinking about what I should do. I wouldn’t even know where to begin if I decided to make a new video. Like should I do a cover? Or should I do a song that I wrote? In the past I knew that a cover was the easiest way to go because that’s how you start getting noticed. But now that people actually know who I am, I figure doing a cover wouldn't actually work. Well I mean, it would work. I just think an original song would get even more attention.

Rolling out of bed was also something I didn’t want to do, but I managed to convince myself differently. I stand up and pick my phone up, sending my sister a text, telling her that I’m going to make a new video. I pick up the phone holder thing that Josh uses when he wants to watch Netflix. I set it on the table and put my phone on it so that the screen is facing out. I knew that if I have it facing in then I’ll just get annoyed with seeing my face.

I pick up one of Josh’s shirts off the floor and put it on before sitting down on the couch, grabbing my ukulele. I close my eyes for a moment, thinking of which of my songs I can actually sing and remember the chords to. After a moment of thinking, I decide on Tear In My Heart, a song that I wrote for Josh, but he doesn’t even know that I did.

I reach around the back of my phone and hit the record button. “Hey guys. So I’m going to be doing an original song this time! This song is dedicated to my wonderful boyfriend, Josh Dun. I love him with all my heart, and I hope he loves this song.”

I carefully begin playing the song, looking down at my ukulele to make sure I’m actually playing the right notes before beginning to sing. I smile a little bit while singing the notes, remembering when I wrote this. Josh was sitting across the room from me and was telling me about his family and stuff. I wrote this without even thinking of a rhythm, I just thought it would be really cool to write a song about the guy I love.

“He’s the tear in my heart, I’m alive. He’s the tear in my heart, I’m on fire. He’s the tear in my heart, take me higher than I’ve ever been..” I continue on with the song, feeling so calm, so into it. I couldn’t wipe the smile on my face, and I just couldn’t wipe it off. I love Josh more than anything in the world, and this is the best way for me to show it. He knows how much music means to me.

When I end the song I take a moment to just sit and smile before ending the video. “Thank you all for all the amazing comments and likes and everything, it honestly means the world to me. And big thank you to my sister for the updates from Ohio while I’m across the country in California. As well as a thank you to my amazing boyfriend. See you all soon. Bye!”

I end the video and don’t bother watching it because that’ll just make me hate it. I cross my legs and open up YouTube. I go to the upload page and select the video. Once it starts uploading, I type in the information. Title: Tyler Joseph - Tear In My Heart. I then write a cheesy description, linking my Twitter in case anybody wanted to get in touch with me, and then I set my phone to the side, letting the video upload without interruption.

After a few minutes, the door opens and Josh comes in with a big smile on his face and his hands behind his back. I look at him with a raised eyebrow, picking up my phone to see that it’s completely uploaded. I hit the publish button and it goes out into the world. No turning back now. Josh walks over to me and removes his hands from behind his back, showing me a bottle of wine, a bag from lush, and a bouquet of roses.

“Whats this?” I ask, taking the flowers from him. He sets everything else on the table.

“I got a promotion!” He says excitedly, making his arms wide. I stand up and wrap my arms around his torso, smiling happily while congratulating him. “They looked at how I did back in Columbus and they said I’d be perfect for a bigger position. So now I’m making twice as much and I get my own office!”

“Josh that’s incredible! I’m so happy for you!” I look into his eyes and gently place a kiss on his lips before letting him go. “I made a video. Its on YouTube if you want to check it out.”

He nods and picks up the Lush bag, handing it to me. “Go get a bath going for us. I’ll watch it and pour some cups of wine and I’ll put the roses in a vase.” I smile and nod, giving him another kiss before walking over to the bathroom. I flick the light on and kneel down next to the large tub. I carefully turn the water on, a little bit of cold and full hot. I stick my hand under the water and nod my head before looking in the bag.

I pull out a really sparkly bath bomb and smile happily, putting it in the tub before putting the rest of the items under the sink. I watch at the bomb fizzes, slowly turning the water a really pretty blue-purple color. I could hear Josh watching the video and I couldn’t help but smile, even hearing my own singing voice. I actually didn’t sound that bad and it made me really proud of myself. I’m normally not very confident in myself, so this really helps.

After a moment of watching the bomb fizz, I pull Josh’s shirt off my body and drop it on the floor before taking off my boxers. I step into the tub and sigh, pushing the bomb away from me and to the other side of the tub. I can see sparkles very evident in the water and it makes me oddly happy. I’m not much of a sparkle person, and I know this is going to be impossible to clean (thank god we have a separate shower) but it’s just so pretty.

I turn the water off after a moment and Josh walks into the room, smiling while setting the glasses of wine down on the edge of the tub. He quickly strips and hops in behind me, wrapping his arms around my torso so I’m closer to him. I lean my head back on his shoulder and sigh happily, so warm.

“That song is beautiful, Ty. Why didn’t you ever tell me that you wrote me a song?” I look up at him and shrug my shoulders. The real reason is because I figured he wouldn’t like it. But I know that’ll probably end up saying something around, oh yeah, sorry, I actually forgot I wrote it. “Well either way, I really loved it. And about three hundred other people did as well.”

“Wait, it already has that many views? It’s only been up for ten minutes!” It’s surreal to me that three hundred people would actually take time to listen to me singing. I’ve always figured that I would be this unknown person who nobody cared too much about, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Josh chuckles and kisses my head. “I told you babe. People love you.”

“And I love you,” I say, looking back at him. I kiss him softly before picking up one of the glasses. I take a sip of the wine and sigh happily, setting it back down on the edge of the tub. I lean my head back against Josh again and close my eyes.

-

 

The next day, I ended up waking sometime after Josh had already left for work. How I managed to sleep through his normal morning banging around is a mystery, but I guess I’m pretty glad I managed to sleep through it. I swear last night was like nothing else. We had our bath, drank some wine, we might have screwed but thats for us to know. And then he held me so close as we fell asleep. Everything was just perfect and I could only feel true happiness. And yes, I do feel that all the time when I’m with Josh, but this was just something over my expectations. I hadn’t felt that happy since the day he asked me out. I felt that strong feeling of love, of want, and it was just unbelievable.

I really want to give Josh a nice surprise, but I wasn’t sure what exactly I could do. Maybe I should get some coffee in my system before I even think about how to surprise him. It’s only noon, and I know he won't be home till after five, so if I can figure something out in the next couple hours, I’ll be as good as golden.

I pull my blanket off and stand up, walking over to the dresser. I pull out a pair of boxers and tug them on before walking over to the kitchen area. I notice a note on the table that says “I bought you a coffee, babe. It’s in the fridge, just throw it in the microwave to warm it up. I love you so much. See you at six.” I couldn’t help but smile, walking over to the fridge. I pull out the Starbucks cup before walking over to the microwave. I open the door and carefully place it inside before shutting the door and setting the time for thirty second.

I walk back over to the bed and pick up my phone off the nightstand. I sit down and look at the lock screen, seeing a couple texts from my sister and mom. I just ignore them and go to Josh’s contact, sending him a text to thank him before standing back up and walking over to the microwave as it goes off. I pull the cup out and smile, closing the door before taking a sip. It was good, even for reheated coffee.

“Thank god for Joshua Dun,” I mumble. I walk back over to the dresser and set the coffee down on the top of it before opening the top drawer, pulling out a pair of jeans. Josh and I aren’t really sure who’s jeans are whose, but we’re the same size so we pretty much just share, which makes deciding things so much easier. It’s the same with shirts and socks. We get all our stuff mixed up except underwear, cause nobody wants to wear someone else's underwear.

After getting dressed, I sit down on the edge of the bed to think about what I could do to surprise Josh. I know how much he loves cats, but I’m not much of a cat person. I would much rather prefer a dog, and I know he likes dogs, just not as much as cats. And I also know that he would really like a pet, but that’s where I get stuck. Because it’s so hard to decide weather to get a cat or a dog when we have opposing favorites.

I reach across the bed and pick up my phone, deciding to call Ashley to get her opinion. Of course she’s known Josh for so much longer, so I’m hoping she’ll be able to help me out a little bit more than I can for myself.

“Hello?”

“Hey Ash! I have a really important question to ask you.” 

“Okay, whatever Josh did, I don’t need to know,” I laugh and shake my head, telling her it’s more like a surprise, which she reacts pretty excitedly towards. “Okay okay. What kind of surprise firstly? Oh! Wait! I’m in LA! Can I come help you out! I can surprise him with my wonderful presence as well.”

I chuckle. “Sure. Do you want to meet up somewhere? Or you could meet at the apartment.”

“Um, well I’m downtown right now, I just finished a pretty huge meeting about my new book. So If you want to meet up that's fine. Where do you guys live?”

“Downtown.”

“Oh! Okay, then why don’t we meet up at the Starbucks on Hill Street? We don’t need to get anything, just as a place to meet.” 

“Sure sounds good. I should be able to walk there in about ten minutes. So I’ll meet you there?”

“Sounds good Ty! See you in a bit!”


End file.
